Most Nigerians like partying and don’t see anything bad in attending a party with friends and relations even when they were not invited.
The reason may be because they want to have a good time especially when they have an idea that the organisers of the party are financially okay.
Other reasons may be because they want to overcome stress, feed their eyes with beautiful scenes which include different aso ebi styles, listen to gists and dance to good music at the event.
It could be absurd but the truth is some also do ‘ mogbomoya’ out of covetousness and lack of dignity, to eat and probably park food and drinks home.
I watched Madam Bucknor’s viral video severally and I pity the woman who has gained negative popularity for her uncouth outburst on a day that was supposed to be one of her glorious, happy days.
Nigerians spoilt the day for her!!
I tried to figure out why an elderly woman would be that flippant and reckless because as a psychologist and a journalist I knew there would be more to it.
Is Mama too temperamental? Is she fetish as some commented on the internet? Is she that much an illiterate? So many things ran through my mind and I took the pains to search for more information about the birthday.
The clue to her outburst was not far fetched, as her invitation card was an indication.
On the card, the woman expressed that individual aso ebi owners have seat tags, that a guest should not take another person’s tagged seat. Also, it was stated that the aso ebi should not be shared, all these she stressed was because of the hall space.
How on earth would anyone choose to be a joy killer? I quite understand Mrs. Burknor’s state of mind when most of her real invited guests adorning the aso ebi couldn’t get seats. Of course the uninvited and the ‘aso ebi sharers’ must have occupied the seats of the genuinely invited ones. That to me is really unfair!
The only sin of Mama Bucknor was that she couldn’t control her temper in such situation. Yet, it is undeniable that she was greatly ‘tempted’ to commit the sin. Woe betide those who turned her happy day to sadness.
Why should one attend a party that he or she was not invited? Must you be everywhere? Should you cause pains for those who must have prepared for the number of guests they invited?
Twice it had happened to me so I put myself in that Mama’s shoes.
The recent was in July when we celebrated my mother’s 85th birthday.
The hall was a capacity of about 100 guests but the attendance was well over 250 and my siblings had to extend the party to all available areas within the hotel.
As a very detailed and principled person that I am,I had envisaged such when my siblings didn’t make use of pass or access card so I made sure I didn’t invite any guest. I attended the event with my husband only.
The day was rowdy and chaotic as guests didn’t get food and seats. It was so embarrassing that I had to disappear unannounced. Most of my siblings friends came with more than two friends. Why would a person with decorum or dignity do that? Some would have portrayed it to their friends that they should attend together to eat ‘awoof’ or savour the ‘declared surplus’. This is a very unfair thing to do to someone you claim you love.
Most of my mother’s friends also left in annoyance when they couldn’t get food and somewhere to seat and my mother has not stopped talking about it whenever she gets the opportunity to discuss it with me. The worst part is that my siblings have all gone back to their bases and I am the only one in Ibadan with the poor woman.
I have a hairdresser that does home service for me, when she came about a week after the party, she saw some of the birthday pictures on my phone while I was scrolling then she exclaimed; “Ha! Ma did you attend the party?” I answered in the affirmative and asked why she was asking? She told me one of her customers attended and came back to tell her the party was not well planned because there was no food when she got there. I asked my hairdresser what the person’s name was to know which of my siblings friends could say that. Then she dropped the bombshell that the person said she didn’t know the celebrant but that she was invited by one of her friends who happens to be the celebrant’s child. I was so mad!. I told my hairdresser to tell her that next time she should not do ‘mogbomoya’ because it was people like her that flopped our party. ( I hope she delivered my message to her).
That is a typical Nigerian mentality that as a ‘mogbomoya’ you must be taken care of, and should have more to cart away. Nonsense mentality!
Please let’s stop it. We are causing pains for other people. Don’t be a joy killer.
Search your mind if you haven’t been a ‘mogbomoya’ in the past, and if you have, please stop it for your pride’s sake. If you have to attend any party, please go with you invitation card if they don’t have access card.
In as much as I don’t support Mama Bucknor’s outburst, I believe the joy killers of that day will be blaming themselves by now. And if they are so adamant, someday their eyes will open to the truth.
As for Mama, I am certain that she has learnt a big lesson; emotions and temperament control. We should always look beyond the immediate and pray that God would make a way of escape in all appearances of evil.
For everyone, let’s deal with the ‘Mogbomoya’ spirit in us and also pray that joy killers shall never locate our events.
credit: Adekitan Adeagbo
Former NAWOJ chairperson, Oyo state
